Best one-liners

These are the best one-liners i've read on the internet.

21 Best One Liners

1. I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.

2. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.

3. My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied Lubricant.

4. I quit my job at the helium factory, I wasn't going to be spoken to in that tone.

5. I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her.

6. People used to laugh at me when I would say 'I want to be a comedian', well nobody's laughing now.

7. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

8. Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes.

9. My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.

10. I haven't slept for three days, because that would be too long.

11. The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself 'This changes everything.'

12. My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the local zoo.

13. Say what you want about deaf people...

14. I've spent the past four years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer, but no one will do it.

15. I saw a sign that said 'watch for children and I thought, 'That sounds like a fair trade.'

16. I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

17. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust.

18. People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.

19. You can never lose a homing pigeon - if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon.

20. Whiteboards are remarkable.

21. I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Dumb Ways to Vote

I really think this videos is a bit corny.. But if it delivers the right message, why not right?

#votewisely

Princess Sarah Memes

Do you guys know who princess Sarah is? 

Probably most of the "young" people nowadays would not actually know her. Princess Sarah was a very well known anime way back in the mid 90's. A lot know her sad story, from when she was very rich to becoming a servant from a very luxurious school.

And suddenly its all coming back after a couple of decades, but not to touch our hearts with her sad story. Instead, to make our hearts fall of laughing. 

I've compiled some of the very funny memes i found around the web. Check them below.

Ha ha.. I literally cried while searching for these pics.

The Unloved One

Have you ever felt being unloved? I'm not saying from a family member. Feeling unloved from a special someone.

I would like to share a small part of who i am. I am 26 and never been in a relationship. I don't if thats what im tryin to find in life. But there are times that when i see people who are so in love with each other, i feel very heavy in my heart. I dont know why. If i think of my life right now, i dont think anyone would suit me. Not because i'm bad or anything. Its just that maybe i get this feeling of, "they wouldn't like me, maybe as a friend only" feeling.

Also to add to that. People never actually find me attractive? Well, im not unpleasing or anything. Just pretty average, i think? But i'm short for an average though. I'm 5 feet btw. I also don't think im weird that would scare people. People even laugh at my jokes.

Sometimes i question things. Why is it hard to find love? I dont think that loving someone like me is hard to do. I'm nice.

It also pains me to experience things like, when you see someone your attracted to, but then retracts your feelings because you know they wont like you as a partner.

Sometimes, i just think maybe im just putting myself down too much.

I know that i'm putting too many I's on this post, but i do feel that we sometimes need to think about ourselves. My sister also told me several times, why dont you try?  I cant answer her. Like how???

I'm also afraid that one day i would just choose anyone that first come to me. Its just sad that i have thoughts of it that way.

The Economist

While riding to work, i was listening to the radio. The topic was, in a country that has low economy, would it be best to try an economist as president?

A country like the Philippines, our president since then are either from militar, celebrity and politician. For so many years, the country's economy has been like sound waves. Consistently going up and down. But in a general view, it actually is not that good. 

We may consider that the government is corrupt, thus may lead to economy downfall. 

We may also consider that even without corruption, but inexperience to a lot of things may result to low economy.

So, if we consider an economist being in power, such as Henry Sy, Lucio Tan or Andrew Tan, can we expect better economy? Or rather lower economy? We should always consider that people tend to mix a lot of things with personal agenda.

But thinking that if they would wholeheartedly devote their knowledge in business to government, would it work?

Thinking Too Much

Courtesy of 9gag

This is so true!

The End

The end.

What does "The End" mean? Does it symbolizes the end of a chapter or the beginning of something new?

We often see the word "The End" in fairy tales and in stories that tells us what the fate of each character in a story. For most people, it does seem so. But there are times that i think that its just the first part of their lives. Just like ours. After we encounter a major event in our life, we can say "The End." We never see what happens next. We don't know if it actually is a happy or bad, or even the actual ending.

We can say that the end is when we die. But that is not necessarily true is it? Some say, our spirit travels as we leave our life on earth. So, it is not the end.

When is the end?

The Crowd

The crowd.

Have you ever wondered what its like being in another person's shoe? I know we all have different kinds of struggle that we only kept in ourselves, and i really think thats what makes us unique from each other.

We see a lot of people in the streets, but least do we know that they are a father, a mother, a child, a friend, or a partner. Sometimes, they are even someone who we will know in the future of our upcoming lives.

Cord Protector

Have you ever heard of cord protectors before? It is a spring like item that you spin around your mobile phone charger. At first i was kinda like meh, another fad products of some sort. Then i saw a friend that used cord protectors. Then i tried it out.

I don't know if it actually protects your cord, but i find it fun to do. You can even mix and match the colors you like.

It looks like this.

It looks like some sort of spring, that you actually twines around your charger.

Like this.

As you can see, this is my 2nd one. Lol!

The finished products.

Besides being all colorful and easy on the eye. After doing this, its actually a lot easier to roll it up and put it in my bag. Before it was like messy and all tangled with each other.

This is actually a very cheap product. You can get this for as low as php12.00 each strand. Bought these at 168 mall.

The Unknown

Another unearthly dream. What i hate most about dreaming? Nice dreams that disappear, and nightmares that continues on your next sleep trip. Why do dreams give us cliffhangers?

Anyway. Today, i dreamt of one of the most unrealistic, but interesting dream.

It was a world where human race was at the breach of extinction. And only a group few people who are chosen to fight against unknown creatures who devours on human flesh. This group is called the unknown.

These people who fight for human race are chosen by an old man who lives in an isolated island. Each of the unknown are taught with different abilities, so unique that if any of them fight with each other, one of them will surely die.

One day, a boy who is being chased by a group of thugs got lost and found himself at the island. Who then was found by the old man. After a few years, the boy grew strong. Taught to fight for ones survival and to protect others.

He was taught the ability to move objects as to what his mind commands. And he led a group of seven people, whom he personally choice.

After this part, a lot still happened in my dream, but are all blurry.

There was even a scene where he learned an unexplainable ability. An ability that no one taught him before. Which was just lying inside him. And also some scenes to what the unknown creatures look like. And, also who the unknown groups are...

Clif hangers in my dream lol.

In Your Wildest Dream

Have you ever had a dream that is so weird, it can actually be a good plot or theme for a story? This happens to me all the time! 

This happened very recently. It was about two individuals. I was portraying as the protagonist, ofcourse.

In my dream, i was an exocist who was on a vacation, and accidentally meeting a playful demon whose only goal was to share mischiefs and unfortune to mortal beings. The only way to vanquish his evil doings was to seal off his power.

Least do I know, that instead of sealing the demon, the demon concealed my heart. Which should I follow? What my faith embodies or  what my heart desires.

How weird as it sounds, I still am looking forward to the continuation of my dream. I'm so curious as to what the demon desires towards the protagonist, thats me.

-sonli:)