The Unloved One

Have you ever felt being unloved? I'm not saying from a family member. Feeling unloved from a special someone.

I would like to share a small part of who i am. I am 26 and never been in a relationship. I don't if thats what im tryin to find in life. But there are times that when i see people who are so in love with each other, i feel very heavy in my heart. I dont know why. If i think of my life right now, i dont think anyone would suit me. Not because i'm bad or anything. Its just that maybe i get this feeling of, "they wouldn't like me, maybe as a friend only" feeling.

Also to add to that. People never actually find me attractive? Well, im not unpleasing or anything. Just pretty average, i think? But i'm short for an average though. I'm 5 feet btw. I also don't think im weird that would scare people. People even laugh at my jokes.

Sometimes i question things. Why is it hard to find love? I dont think that loving someone like me is hard to do. I'm nice.

It also pains me to experience things like, when you see someone your attracted to, but then retracts your feelings because you know they wont like you as a partner.

Sometimes, i just think maybe im just putting myself down too much.

I know that i'm putting too many I's on this post, but i do feel that we sometimes need to think about ourselves. My sister also told me several times, why dont you try?  I cant answer her. Like how???

I'm also afraid that one day i would just choose anyone that first come to me. Its just sad that i have thoughts of it that way.